Chapters

Factual
Logical
True statements
And false smiles

The story of my life

Too hard to tell
Too hard to hear
Too hard to feel
Don't want to try
Any more...Too tired
To remember, to relate

The story of my life

My life began
So long ago
All those years
In my parents' eyes

Chapter one

So many beginnings
So many ends
Subheadings
Paragraphs
Plot twists
Changes
Cannot deny the good
Cannot forget the bad

Crying
Not crying
Numb
Not daring to feel at all
Feeling too much
Loneliness
And crying
Not knowing how to open
Withdrawing
To reach out
Hiding more, hiding better
Hoping someone would notice

Chapter two

Finding someone
Someone special
My life began
With chapter two
Reaching out
Slowly
Feeling
Slowly
Healing
Slowly
Numbness dissipating
Tired no more
Awake again
Ups and downs
And distance
Obstacles have been placed
Hurdles in our way
But overcoming
Together
Growing
Together
Learning who we are
Through each other

My favorite chapter

Caring
Sharing
Crying together
Laughing together
Distance between us
But never apart
Sad times
Good times
But always together
Look in the mirror
And see
Not my face
But yours
That is me
No longer just myself
But we
Every feeling
Every dream
Every thought
Intertwined with you

Close chapter

Maybe
For now

Maybe
Forever

Uncertainty
Regret
But acceptance
And respect
At your strength
At your wisdom
But wishing your decision
Did not have to be

Now waiting
Slow passage of time
One month seems
To never end
To never end
To never end
Numbness
Creeping in
Loneliness
Withdrawing
Reaching out
But not finding a satisfying answer
Pain again
So familiar
So hated
Not welcome
But undeniable

Chapter three
Repeat chapter one

No!
Not wanting to succumb
But neither willing to close
If this is each day
Long and bumpy
Up and down
Each one worsening
Numb
What good is patience?
Why wait another day
In pain
When I do not know
When they will end

Not wanting to feel
Remembering
Since my life began
In chapter two
Understanding
Yet confused
Not able to ignore
Love
Not able to let go
Of love
Not able to recognise
Me
Without you
Cannot replace
You
My confidant
Cut off
Stranded
Floundering
Drowning
Unsure
If I should resist

Chapter - unknown - denied

The story of my life
Incomplete
Without purpose
Without meaning
Without caring
Without you
Too tired to continue
To tell the story
Too tired
To care
Wishing I could sleep
But knowing
I will only dream
Of you